Warnings: canon character death, alcohol used as a coping method, suicidal thoughts.
Categories: Ship, Het, Angst, Episode Tag
Pairings: Max/Liz (aka Dreamer)
Characters: Liz Parker (primary), Max Evans
Spoilers: Chant Down Babylon, brief reference to The End of the World. If you haven't seen this series, I recommend it. All three seasons are available on DVD
A/N: A stream-of-consciousness episode addition to Chant Down Babylon. Liz contemplates her loss.
Credits: Screencap used in title graphic courtesy of the Granolith. Research and alien spellcheck resources include Crash Into Me: The World of Roswell by Robyn Burnett and crashdown.com
Disclaimer: I'm borrowing from Jason Katims and Regency Entertainment. I promise to put the toys away neatly when I'm finished.
The knowledge barreled into her and drove the air from her lungs. Liz Parker turned to her best friend and spoke the unreal words, the comfort of denial stolen from her by the certainty of this terrible truth.
Max was dead.
With every beat of her aching heart, the knowledge tore through her again. She sought to escape the pain, instincts propelling her up the stairs to the room that the students had dubbed the Rat.
Blindly she sought the bottle wedged behind the loose board. She brought it to her lips, gulping hungrily at the burning liquid. It worked too slowly, withholding the numbness she required. Her pounding heart kept the pain coursing through her body.
At least Maria had left her alone. She didn't want comfort from her friend right now. If Maria knew anything, she'd know that nothing could comfort Liz now.
Max was dead.
I should feel dead inside, Liz thought. But emotional death eluded her, the pain reminding her with every heartbeat that she still had a life stretching out before her. Life without Max. Life without love. Just Liz and this awful sick pain that the liquor refused to numb.
The Rat seemed hot, like the pain inside her. She stumbled to her feet and opened the window. The cold air would make her numb. Not like the hot alcohol that promised oblivion but delivered only wobbly knees and a fire in her throat. She climbed into the window and stared at the ground far below.
She knew she shouldn't jump, but the why escaped her.
Max was dead.
With Max restored to her, shaken but very much alive, Liz had three thousand miles in which to think back upon the alcohol-blurred hours in the Rat. She shuddered to think she might have jumped, or fallen, or possibly just frozen to death, leaving Max to mourn for her like in some twisted Shakespearian tragedy.
She'd once told Max that Romeo and Juliet was only a romantic play to people who missed the true horror of the story. Romeo had died because he'd been foolish, giving up hope too soon, and Liz had come close to following his example.
Hope could defeat despair. She made herself a silent vow to not forget that again.
This transformative work constitutes a fair use of any copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. Roswell™© and related properties exist as Registered Trademarks of Regency Entertainment. No copyright infringement intended. No profits made here. © Spiletta42, July 2006.